Isn’t funny how our emotions work? One minute the world feels like it’s going to end and the next minute you feel compelled to serve Beyoncé realness.
As I bring the microphone to my lips and open up my 👄, I take in a mouthful…. OF AIR! Y’all nasty. Lol. And allow my vocal chords to do the rest. Oh… ya’ll thought I was going to actually starting singing? You’ve got the wrong blog!
I’ve revealed more than I ususally do these past few posts and I must say it’s been liberating. The overwhelming support has reminded me to ensure I’m also being kind, loving and supportive to myself. So interesting how we forget to do such a simple thing.
I’ve recently started going to a counselor. Yes! I know….it’s still hard for me to admit it but hell I’m going to a damn counselor….and I’m unapologetic. And even better it’s covered by my insiurance. Lol. Anyway…….usually at the end of every session I try to walk away with some mantra that I can put into practice throughout the week. And this week…. you guessed right.
BE KIND TO YOURSELF ANTHONY.
I don’t know where this journey shall take me. I surrender chile! I mean literally, I have handed over the car keys and fastened my humble ass in the passenger seat of life. SOURCE take the wheel. My GPS is off… hell my cellphone is off. I clasp my hands together, throw my head out of the car window and look up to the sky. I simply close my eyes and say thank you. This is myTRUTHmyCLARITY and so it is friends.
It’s June and I go home in three weeks. I have been living and teaching in a foreign country for just about two years. There have been many days where I have pondered this very moment. I miss my family and friends beyond words. I miss normalcy. I miss home. I just want to go home. Sigh….
Although I am grateful for this experience, my patience, flexibility and tolerance is reaching empty. When one exists is a foreign space that goes way beyond their comfort zone they become vulnerable. It’s been a very difficult few weeks because the anticipation of going home is so close…….yet…….so…….far……a.w.a.y!
I have enough knowledge to know that my EGO is taking over. As I Edge God Out (EGO) I feel even more lost. I have been doing my affirmations, and attempting to meditate. However, meditation has always been a challenge. I still catch myself thinking about not thinking. Lol. And then I’m thinking about not thinking about what to think about. It’s a mess! Thank goodness for YouTube! I’ve been doing better with guided meditations. Don’t mind me……..and my human ways.
I’ve been doing my best to manage my anxiety in healthy ways. I’m spending more time in the gym, learning from my spiritual teachers, writing, eating healthy foods, and embracing each present moment. However, I ain’t gonna lie…….sometimes a nice glass of wine takes the edge off! Ok maybe two glasses.
I know this to be true: There’s much to take away from this experience. However, the lessons may not be revealed right now. It may not make any sense, until I’ve walked away from the experience. And that’s okay. :8)
I must stay connected to my source because then all things are possible. My anxiety is real and I must sit with it……be with it…..allow myself to feel it…….surrender to it……and then let it go.
Dear EGO: I give you permission to get off this ride. You do not meet the height requirements. I (awareness) stand tall enough for the both of us. Your services are no longer needed. Oh….and do me a favor…..stay in your lane. This is myTRUHmyCLARITY!
Do you ever stop and take in your SURROUNDINGS? Is there ever a moment when the stillness of the EARTH catches your attention? Do you ever find yourself thinking about the greatness of what really IS going on all around you? I’m not talking about things that are viewed through the lens of the ‘huMAN’. I am referring to everything else that exists beyond what we have come to know and understand.
As I was driving to work one morning, the stillness of the earth caught my third eye. How was this possible? Well imagine yourself on an airplane. You’re 30,000 feet up in the sky and traveling over 500 mph. Yet, it doesn’t feel like you’re moving that fast until you hit a bit of turbulence. Suddenly, your attention shifts directly to the movement of the plane because now your senses have heightened!
That morning my senses were heightened by the simultaneous movement of the EARTH around the SUN (as it rose above horizon) and the MOON around the earth as it began to disappear in the distance. I sensed earth moving in that very moment. As I pulled my car over and continued to observe this magical moment, I began feeling so present in that very moment. It was perfect! The moon was disappearing in my front window, the sun was rising in my rearview mirror and there I was observing my SOURCE doing what it does best: NOTHING yet EVERYTHING all at once. There was a serenity that consumed my body and my EGO didn’t know what to do other than run and hide. As the peacefulness moved throughout my body, it was if the sun and moon were adjusting my spiritual frequency. I could feel the energy of both forces pulling on me simultaneously, stripping me of today’s to-do list and life’s challenges. I felt so consciously aware. I felt awake. I felt free. I felt an abundance of peace in that moment and it felt mighty ‘GoOD’!
Why does any of this matter? Well Folks, life can wear you out! Therefore, Inviting stillness into your space helps to minimize the infamous mind chatter. Suddenly, everything will seem so small, so easy. Open your eyes! No, really open your THIRD eye and recognize that you are a space of consciousness/awareness in this world that we call earth. YOU are the observer of what’s being observed. Really take that in….and sit with it. In order for you to be aware of the space in which you inhabit, sit down somewhere, open your mouth, breathe in/out and just be STILL. Sounds easy right? Then what are you waiting for…….? :0)
I am fortunate enough to be greeted with a beautiful sunrise at the beginning of the day and a memorable sunset at the end of the day. These moments are great reminders for me to be STILL, be PRESENT, and to be NOW. I challenge you to go to a park and be with a tree. Or go to the beach and be with the water. Or pull your car over and be with the sun. Or sit in your garden and be with your flowers. Whatever you decide to do, just be sure you are not thinking. Focus on your breathing and the beauty that surrounds you. Your sources voice resides in the silence……and get this you never have to make an appointment with your source.
Give your mind the break it deserves and needs! ALLOW yourself to be still, be present, and be now with what IS and you will begin to invite a new level of TRUTH and CLARITY into your life.
Consider these thoughts organized! :0)