Posts Tagged With: Fear

Think BIGGER


Dear Self,

I get that your desire is to locate a second job for supplemental income. However, I need for you to think BIGGER. Maybe you’re not able to find the job you seek because it has yet to be created. Use this time to tap into your passion inorder to create a purposeful yet lucrative second income for yourself. Think bigger! Be bolder! And do NOT let money cloud your judgment. If you settle for less than you deserve, you’ll get even less than what you settled for. Hard was never easy and easy will never be hard. Hiya! So exercise your creative juices and believe that this to shall come. And so it freakin is! This is myTRUTHmyCLARITY. 

From,

Self 

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Be Kind to Yourself 

Side eye… hand on the hip…. mouth wide open…..twist of the neck….and lots of attitude! ……….wait for it…. speak MAMA RU!

Isn’t funny how our emotions work? One minute the world feels like it’s going to end and the next minute you feel compelled to serve Beyoncé realness. 


As I bring the microphone to my lips and open up my 👄, I take in a mouthful…. OF AIR! Y’all nasty. Lol. And allow my vocal chords to do the rest. Oh… ya’ll thought I was going to actually starting singing? You’ve got the wrong blog!

I’ve revealed more than I ususally do these past few posts and I must say it’s been liberating. The overwhelming support has reminded me to ensure I’m also being kind, loving and supportive to myself. So interesting how we forget to do such a simple thing. 

I’ve recently started going to a counselor. Yes! I know….it’s still hard for me to admit it but hell I’m going to a damn counselor….and I’m unapologetic. And even better it’s covered by my insiurance. Lol. Anyway…….usually at the end of every session I try to walk away with some mantra that I can put into practice throughout the week. And this week…. you guessed right.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF ANTHONY. 


I don’t know where this journey shall take me. I surrender chile! I mean literally, I have handed over the car keys and fastened my humble ass in the passenger seat of life. SOURCE take the wheel. My GPS is off… hell my cellphone is off. I clasp my hands together, throw my head out of the car window and look up to the sky. I simply close my eyes and say thank you. This is myTRUTHmyCLARITY and so it is friends. 

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Fishbowl 


Hey fellow writers! I always wonder how many people actually read these posts? Then I wonder why I do I actually care? I mean my purpose for writing is for me to reflect on my truth my clarity. If my journey inspires others …. great! If not… eh… it is what it is. No shade…. wink. 

Sorry folks, today’s a funky kind of day. Heck I’m just tired and it’s myTRUTHmyCLARITY. Lol. I’ve found myself trying to keep busy in order to avoid the present matters at hand. Sigh…. I’m tired just thinking about it. I keep hearing ‘one day at a time’ but these days are wearing me out! Lol. It’s interesting because I feel this need to ‘keep swimming’ 🏊 but lately I’m feeling more compelled to simply float. I’m doing all this swimming and haven’t a clue which direction I should even be headed in. Round and round I go wondering why I’m chasing my tail. The other day it dawned on me to actually stop swimming and come up for some damn air. Like literally take my head up out of the water! Well damn! Didn’t realize I was actually swimming/exhibiting in a fishbowl of emotions which speaks to why I’ve been suffocating. 

I’m tired friends….and just feel this need to float calmly in the ripples of my emotions. As I lay on my back and look up out of the fishbowl I wonder what’s out there? How do I get myself out of this bowl of emotions. My desire to change goes beyond buying a filter and changing the water. I want more than this bowl…I want to be able to leap out of this bowl and float through the winds of possibility. I want to feel free of all the pain and sorrow. I lay here floating….. feeling to tired to swim. It’s so hard to just be still but know I must if ever I am to restore my fire 🔥 to persevere. I float freely……just being with self and having faith that one day I’ll be restored enough to take the leap of LIFE out of the bowl and into the unknown. This is myTRUTHmyCLARITY. And so it is….I FLOAT. :0)

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I Quit! 

Yes, I quit my job four days ago and I am unapologetic. I surrender to the totality of possibilities and affirm that all is well. I know my value. I know my worth. I deserve better and walk confidently into the direction of the unknown. What awaits? I have no clue at all but trust that my Source will guide me into a purposeful cause. The totality of possibilities await and I am going to be okay. I will not allow myself to exist in a space that doesn’t ‘fill my bucket.’

This is one thing I now know to be my truth, my clarity. I quit! And so it is. :0)

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Crossroads!?!!? :0/

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Ways to determine which path to take in life:

1. Life is all about expanding into our zones of discomfort. It is only when one steps into unfamiliar territory will they really begin to EVOLVE mentally, physically and spiritually. To grow is to live on purpose.

2. Leaders embody the COURAGE needed to not only walk the unconventional path but EXPLORE and CONQUER unchartered territory.

3. Change your FEAR into CURIOSITY ………!

4. Ask the following question, “How may I SERVE?” Now recognize which path aligns with your purpose. To serve is to live on purpose.

5. Be still, be quiet, and listen to the SILENCE. Embedded in the silence is the voice of your source. Listen closely……your internal GPS system has been configured to speak to your best interest. Trust it!

6. Remember this: as you ponder the future, life is happening all around you. All you simply have is this moment. Be present, live your life right NOW and allow your source to lead the dance! Close your eyes and feel the PULL of life.

7. Be GRATEFUL! Recognize each opportunity (path) as a blessing and walk confidently into the direction of the unknown. :0)

As one door closes in July and another one opens in August, I catch myself sometimes pondering about what’s next to come. My EGO just loves pushing life out of the driver’s seat and taking control. Thankfully, I’ve become more aware of when this happens and recognize that I am still a work in progress. However, life has never let me down. These moments of weakness require me to ‘WALK my TALK’ and trust in my SOURCE.

I affirm the above statements to be my TRUTH my CLARITY and so it is! Now consider these thoughts organized!

 

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Gentle Reminder…… ;0)

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Wake up and live on purpose!

 

How? Well…….Change your fears into curiosity and walk confidently into the direction of the unknown.

 

Trust that your SOURCE will lead you on a JOURNEY filled with purposeful opportunities.

 

Remember, we are here for TWO reasons: To GROW and to SERVE.

 

At the end of our lives all the other STUFF will not matter.

 

GROWTH and SERVICE will afford you authentic LOVE and true HAPPINESS. :0)

 

This in myTRUTHmyCLARITY

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When the UNIVERSE speaks….LISTEN

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When the universe speaks….listen

Where does the time go? Had it really been two weeks already? I was on the plane headed back to Abu Dhabi (as I typed this entry). ****A look back in time****

 

I am flying Saudi Airlines. :0/ I don’t know how I feel about that but it’s to late now. Their airline had the lowest fare! Lol. I have a connection in Saudi Arabia and then I land in Dubai. And then 24 hours later I’ll be back on a plane headed to Sri Lanka. Lol. Poor planning on my part, but I’m gonna just go with it.

 

Interestingly enough while waiting to board the plane (in NYC), I was randomly approached by this black guy (Ramon) around my age who currently works in Saudi Arabia. He said he worked for the US military and that he’s been living and working there for about a year. I asked him, “How is that? ” (with a crooked look on my face). But as soon as the words left my mouth I realized my reaction was the same reaction I get when I tell people that I work in Abu Dhabi. Lol. Most folks still think I’m teaching in Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, or Afghanistan. Needless to say I let go of my preconceived notions and opened my eyes, ears and mind to his experience. Oddly enough his experience sounded a lot like my experience. Only difference is that he’s making a heck of a lot more money than me! He mentioned retirement in a year and I promise he’s about 35 or so.

 

It’s interesting how the universe works because right before he approached me I was sitting alone and waiting patiently to board the plane. And while I was waiting I was THINKING. I’m sure you all know about the mind chatter. It’s the conversation we have with ourselves in our heads. I try my best not to do this because some thoughts can literally drive me crazy! So I’m sitting there and I was just thinking about my trip home, my upcoming travels and teaching for a second year in Abu Dhabi. Right before Ramon approached me I was going back and forth (THINKING) about completing a second year of teaching overseas or finding a way to leave the program early. I was thinking about whether I’m doing the right thing or not. I was thinking about how much I’m going to miss my mom, family, and friends. I was thinking about what’s next after teaching overseas. I was basically thinking about my life choices. Just a lot of stuff! I started to get sad, overwhelmed, and just began feeling off. Of course when you are emotional it’s never a good time to make decisions. But as usual ……..my EGO won the debate in my head. I was literally planning my escape from the two-year commitment I made to teach in Abu Dhabi. Lol.

 

This is when Ramon approached me and I’m so glad that he did because my mind was in overdrive. Talking with him really reminded me as to why I needed to complete my second year. Save, save, save money! And opportunities like this don’t come often. Ramon is set and I really appreciated how focused he is on his goal. He was adamant about setting him and his family up financially so that eventually he could return home, retire and live comfortably. And he seemed so okay with being away from his wife and new-born baby. I really envied how at PEACE he was with the decision he made to work overseas. He explained how its hard being away from his family but a sacrifice he chose considering the economy and lack of jobs. We both agreed that Americans have to work so hard to get minimal pay. He referred to the middle east as the best kept secret to making good money. Touché! lol The conversation really helped put my emotions back in check because I’ve learned no matter what you decide to do in life, your EGO will ALWAYS convince you that the other choice would have been the better choice. As we parted ways (his seat was further back on the plane) we exchanged email addresses and I encouraged him to reach out if he ever found himself in the United Arab Emirates. Technically speaking Saudi Arabia is Abu Dhabi’s neighbor. Lol. But seriously I really needed that conversation with a complete stranger. No judgment, just simple rhyme and reason. I truly felt better about getting onto the plane because I was so close to running home to mommy. Lol.

 

Life is so hard folks! But ultimately you’ve got to listen to your SOURCE (god, the one, higher power) which speaks directly to your heart, have no fear, and just surrender. That moment truly was the universe (GOD) speaking to me through Ramon. It is always on time! :0) BTW did I mention Ramon is also a Pastor and owns a church in Texas. Crazy Right!? When the universe speaks, I listen!

 

So I board the plane feeling better after having received a clear message from GOD. And then I notice another message being sent my way. Guess who I’m sitting next to during this 12 hour flight? No not Ramon. But a boy, who is about 9 years old. And I was instantly reminded of my purpose. Often times our egos are constantly thinking about me, me, me, me. And we lose sight of the purpose we are destined to fulfill while we are here on earth. For me, it’s always been to inspire youth and the classroom is the platform in which I fulfill my purpose. I’m sitting next to this boy whose name is something I have no idea how to spell. I’m not even gonna try. Lol. He is traveling with his mother. I believe his english is minimal because he constantly stares and just smiles at me. I smile back. He began playing with the entertainment module but had no headphones so I let him use mine (I had a second pair). Needless to say, just being next to him warmed my heart and reminded me of why I have chosen to serve youth. I reach out to shake his hand, he reaches out to shake mine. I tell him thank you and he says why? I say……”because you’re a cool kid”. He grins at me and throws himself back into the seat. His mom smiles. I sit back and enjoy the peace of mind!

 

The universe speaks and I listen! You’ve got my attention. My mind is finally at peace…… :0)

 
SIDE NOTE: It’s a year later and I’m so thankful I hung and there and saw my two  year commitment through. :8)

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The ACADEMY in my HEAD

imageGlobal awareness is an essential element that I would like to be a part of my proposed academy. I believe awareness sparks profound curiosity which is a beautiful thing that will afford our scholars the opportunity to explore, inquire, learn and experience the many wonders of the world. As global citizens, we have an obligation to continuously step outside of our comfort zones in order to evolve and expand our thinking. This is when learning truly begins!

Another essential element I would want integrated into my school is a HOLISTIC APPROACH to teaching and learning. Any child that walks through the front door or sneaks thorough the back door, will be embraced whole heartedly. There will be an academic, social, and emotional component all of which will EQUALLY be addressed. Each of these components will be infused into a rigorous and meaningful curriculum. The social and emotional piece will be targeted through advisory sessions, community meetings, mentor programs, counseling services, ECT. Scholars will also be taught how to get aligned with SELF and become more compassionate beings in order to be productive citizens of the world. After school programs and service learning projects will branch off of all these components. Most importantly, a SAFE space will be fostered throughout the academy affording our scholars the opportunity to open up and reveal their truest self so that all of their individual needs will be addressed.

Meeting every scholar exactly where he is at will be an essential component of our academy. I believe in individualizing each scholars educational journey through differentiated instruction and assessments, goal setting, data talks, authentic relationships, and a student centered learning environment. Additionally, scholars will be an active participant in their educational journey. They will be expected to know their current performance levels, where they need to go, and what they need to do in order to exhibit success. More importantly, regular data talks and goal setting with their advisors will ensure they are able to articulate the steps needed to get there. Celebrating each and every success of our scholars will promote a collaborative approach among all the stakeholders of our school community. Additionally, the strong awareness of their abilities will ensure they leave our academy wanting to become productive leaders of the global world.

Please note that I continuously refer to the academy as OUR academy because I plan to foster a professional learning community. I believe that it takes a village, and every member of the team will play an integral part in the success of the academy and in the success of every scholar. Additionally, our students will be referred to as SCHOLARS due to their evolving love of learning. Lastly, our school is referred to as an ACADEMY because we will specialize in producing lifelong learners working to serve the needs of the global world.

I’d like to formally introduce you to the ACADEMY in my HEAD:

***GLOBAL VILLAGE ACADEMY***

As I think, so shall it be!

Consider these thoughts organized…. :0)

Categories: School Teacher | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Live Uncomfortably!

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Everyday I wake up, I feel so fortunate to have stumbled across this opportunity to teach overseas. I never had the financial means to even consider experiencing the things I have done since arriving in this foreign country (back in 2012).

This journey continues to be one that is filled with many surprises but I have surrendered to the experience. I am finally in a peaceful place and have accepted not knowing what’s around the corner of my life. No fear, no regrets, no need to be in control. This new approach to life has opened doors I never even new existed. I feel free, I feel alive, I feel happy. And so it is!

 

 

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Architect your Life!

imageI love admiring the architectural beauty of sky scrapers because what was once a VISION is now a reality. I often stop and ponder……how in the heck did they do that?!!?! They are all works of art often grabbing my attention and holding it hostage. Lol. You must be wondering where I’m going with this….??

Well, once upon a time I had a VISION to teach overseas and have now made it my reality. Was it easy? No way! You may be wondering how in the heck I pulled it off. Well to be honest, making a change is never easy. I know some of you may be having the same itch I experienced a few years ago. Often described as a restlessness with your mundane routine and a desire to do something different. Not only do you find yourself wanting to make a change but people are also telling you to do something about. Sigh! And you know this!…..but they just don’t seem to understand that it can be difficult to take that first step. Furthermore, figuring out which direction to go in can be even more overwhelming.

Do I go back to school? Do I change jobs? Do I end my relationship!? Do I really want to bring this person into my life? Should I move to the city!? Should I turn down the job?! Should I quit school? Should I move back home? You name it! Decisions! Decisions! Decisions!

Here’s the secret, you must be the architect and be open to receiving a clear vision that represents the skyscraper of your life. Often times, people have no vision or their vision is unclear……well……..start by picking up new hobbies. A new hobby requires doing something that makes you feel a little uncomfortable! Yes, uncomfortable! You must step outside of your comfort zone in order to discover your new truth. Recognizing new and creative ways to get aligned with your source will ensure your new vision finds you! This is often referred to as being inspired: In SPIRIT or connected to your source. It is in this space that you will begin rising from the ground like a beautiful skyscraper.

I challenge you to affirm that you are the architect of your life! Be open and ready to receive your vision. Furthermore, be willing to do the work in order to rise from the ground like a skyscraper.

Consider these thoughts organized!  ;0)

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Categories: Daily Wisdom, Life Lesson | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

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