- Travel and serve in Africa
- Fall in love ❤️
- Become a Teacher 👨🏫
- Become an Assistant Principal
- Start my own school (Principal)
- Live in New York
- Live in Atlanta
- INSPIRE youth in underserved communities
- Maintain a healthy gym routine
- Make friends around the world
- Become a Father
- Be PRESENT
- Continuously operate beyond my comfort zone
- Appreciate my family
- Make six figures times ten. Networth of over 10 million. I’ll take more more!
- Stay true to my passion and purpose
- Keep moving
- Turn off the television
- Keep up with my cycling
- Discover relief for my feet
- Be my own boss
- Start my own business
- Write a book
- Become a motivation speaker
- Train teachers
- PHD in something
- Be open to love again
- Not become a statistic within the black gay community
- Leave a legacy behind that rings in the ears of many
- No drinking at home alone
- Read 12 books a year minimum
- Walk, skip, jump to the beat of my own dream and do it unapologetically
- Own a fun car: something with a drop top!
- Moped or motorcycle on the side
- Establish a savings account that affords me financial freedom. 500,000 plus! Times 10!
- But my mother a house of her own
- Create careers for others
- Explore and participate in New and different things
- Attend a motivational conference
- Travel to all seven continents
- Wake up and say THANK YOU
- Just keep swimming
Posts Tagged With: sadness
It’s Day 1 after the physical separation between my partner and I. Last night was tough. I mean I literally felt sick. I helped him move his stuff out and even went as far as bringing him to his new place. I don’t know if that was wise because I broke down in tears as I was about to leave. It’s interesting because the tears weren’t due to the actual separation. They were more about his well being. I just felt bad leaving him there. I mean this guy sacrificed a lot to appease my needs throughout our eight years. I kind of feel responsible for him being all the way out here in the Bay Area. It’s a hard pill to swallow which is why I spit that shit out!
I am NOT responsible for the poor decisions he made. I am not responsible for the infidelity. I am not responsible for why we are separating. Like I said to him, “I never wanted for this to happen.” I was pushed into a corner and forced to evaluate my own well being. I have enough self respect to know what I deserve when it comes to being loved. That pill that I tried to swallow can lay its ass on the ground. Matter of fact, I’ll just go ahead and crush the hell out of it. That grown man made grown decisions. And my story, my happiness, my well being will not rest upon a person who has yet to really discover and love himself. I stand tall, I stand proud, I stand courageous, I stand in my faith knowing…..that if I just keep swimming……Just keep swimming…..Just keep swimming…..Just keep smimming……true peace regarding this matter shall come. In the interim, this is myTRUTHmyCLARITY. And so it is!
I’m taking a big leap and going to share some intimate thoughts in my upcoming posts. It TRULY makes me very uncomfortable which is why I know it’s needed for growth. I’m doing this as a form of healing. Y’all, life! It sure is like a rollercoaster. One of a kind. A roller coaster with an endless track of twists, turns, hills, stops, varied speeds, and LOTS of bumps. Lots and lots of bumps. Did I mention that the coaster is also made out of wood? Yeah, so let’s not forget the constant repairs needed just to ensure it’s still functional. Y’all, life truly is like a roller coaster.
Where to even begin? Sigh, he cheated on me. What’s worse is that I walked in on both of them completely naked. There I said it. Nine months ago I thought time would heal the wound yet it still hurts. If I could just take that moment out of my memory bank. That moment altered my entire life. That moment change everything. That moment put the roller coaster out of operation for a while. That moment….sigh is a moment I’m determined to conquer. That moment will not conquer me. That moment is my badge of honor. That moment is just that….a moment.
My promise to myself is to live out loud no matter good or bad. This blog has always served as a form of healing. As I unpack my ‘dirty draws’ know that my intention is to heal. My intention is to forgive. And my intention is to move forward. I will no longer play victim. That moment was lurking on the shadows. It had to happen. It was inevitable. I am strong. I am beautiful. I am truly going to look back and be grateful for that moment. It’s time to open up, Good, bad or indifferent. I surrender to myTRUTHmyCLARITY.
(Written by….my EGO)
As I await my departure back to the USA, I am currently residing in a five-star hotel that my company is paying for. Upon checking in, I was told my reservation was for 14 nights. Now, any other time I’d be thrilled to luxuriate in hotel amenities at the expense of someone else. But as I have said before, I’ve been living and teaching is this foreign country for two years…….I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!
I’m sure you’re wondering what the hold up may be? Your guess is as good as mine. I honestly do not know what is taking so long to cancel my visa and for them to pay me my money. The kids have been out of school for about two weeks and Ramadan is approaching in one day.
I feel like I’m being held here against my will. I made a request to resign in May and it was denied. Denied? I know……right?! Why the early resignation? Well, to be honest I’ve accomplished all of my goals. I’ve always heard horror stories about the exit process, so I wanted to leave on my terms. Needless to say, that didn’t happen.
So here I am…….restless……sitting in a hotel for an indefinite amount of time. I feel so ungrateful writing that last sentence (soul speaking) but my negative emotions are real (ego speaking). I attribute my restlessness to the fact that I start my new job August 1. I also have my new apartment waiting to be moved into by ME. Lastly, I need time with family and friends. I need time to receive the love (in close proximity) before I’m required to step back into the routines of life.
However, it looks like that isn’t going to happen. So here I am attempting to rid myself of this restlessness which is causing me great anxiety. A good friend of mine suggested I stop fighting it. Lol. Damn….he is so right. I haven’t been in control since the moment I arrived here in the Middle East. Hmmmm….?? I guess I’m being challenged ONCE AGAIN to walk my talk.
Wayne Dyer often says, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
(Written by…….my SOUL)
This is where I must exercise HUMILITY.
Okay….yes I’ve been living in this foreign space for two years and upon my arrival back to the USA …I anticipate some challenges with adjusting into western ways. Therefore, time is needed for me to be still, center myself and slowly unravel from this experience. Because……once I’m home….it’s business as usual.
This journey in the Middle East has been an emotional one. The highs have been really high….and the lows have been pretty low. But there’s been a balance which has afforded me an experience of a lifetime. As anxious as I am to go home, there are elements of this experience I will genuinely miss. Therefore, I really need to take the time to immerse myself in these final moments as much as I can.
When’s the next time you will have 14 nights paid for at a five-star hotel by someone else? Exactly! If you don’t shut your ungrateful behind up (EGO) and listen to the whispers. Your SOURCE is giving you the time you need to ensure you’re truly ready to head back into the hustle and bustle of NYC. You’ve lived a pretty simple and quiet life these past two years. Here’s the challenge: How can you bring this peace with you into the next chapter of your life?
Lastly, you’ve managed to make the most out of the past two years. You took an undesirable situation and flipped it! Don’t let these final moments overshadow an experience that has made you an even better man. If anything…..let these final moments be a time of reflection and gratitude. Now…..it’s time to flip your negative thoughts!
Damn it EGO! Get over yourself. Look at what we’ve accomplished….I mean really make an observation. We did it! We completed our commitment and accomplished all that we set out to do. There’s so much to celebrate!
I give you (EGO) permission to chill out dude. Like seriously…..relax and just be in these final moments.
I give you (EGO) permission to stop fighting.
Infinite patience produces immediate results. ;8)
Consider these crazy thoughts organized! Lol.
This is myTRUTHmyCLARITY